stuff123

One of my favourite episodes of the Cosby Show was when Clair Huxtable (portrayed by actress Phylicia Rashad) was singing the “WhinyChild Blues” to one of the Cosby kids because they were whining about something or other that was not really that important.

I tripped over this in our tribes forum under Fun & Games. One of the members of our tribe found it in World 12 and doesn’t remember where so I don’t know who to give credit for this good stuff. It looks like a good letter to send to the whinychile’s that play the game and don’t understand that to be successful in the game you must attack other player’s villages.

Hello [player][/player],

You are receiving this T-mail because you sent me a message asking why I am nobling your village (or somthing of the sort). I receive many of these messages every day, and it would be very difficult to respond to them individually. I will be using this form, provided by [ally][/ally] to respond.

I am attacking your village because: (mark all that apply)

[] I’m not destroying you, I’m sending you to my fan club on the rim, you’ll find lots of people just like yourself
[] I’m capturing villages in a specific pattern on the world map, a smiley face to be exact
[] You are no threat to me. Even if my attacks would fail, there is no way you could retaliate
[] You are small
[] I would like to take over bigger villages but I’m trying to build up my base
[] Your English is lacking
[] You are obviously not active
[] I want more villages
[] You are whiny
[] You are close by, better targets are just too far for me to noble
[] You have failed to pay tribute, maybe if you would have sent us some protection resources like everyone else on this continent…
[] I am part of [ally][/ally]. Please? Stop? I don’t know these words and I hate things I don’t know
[] Because I can

Furthermore I find that:

[] Your caps lock key is broken
[] I don’t like the way your shoelaces are tied.
[] This is like taking candy from a baby, only instead of candy, it’s a village.
[] Alternatively I could decide to simply farm you rather then a full-out takeover, but that would leave your resources vulnerable to others and my troops are above the trivial task of hauling resources
[] I’m pretty sure your shirt is on backwards
[] You taste of fear, I like the taste of fear

As well, you:

[] Fail to understand this game is called tribal WARS
[] Failed to give your village a proper name
[] Failed to give yourself a proper name
[] Could have seen this coming when I scouted you, yet failed to respond accordingly by building more defense

While I see that you are now making efforts to defend your village through diplomatic means, I do not care because:

[] It is too late as I’ve already sent my nobles and cannot cancel them
[] Your message has only infuriated me more
[] I am part of [ally][/ally]

We at [ally][/ally] thank you for your message. We would like express that your message is important to us. We hope this form response has answered any of the questions you had. If you have any further questions or comments please feel free to:

[x] Shut up and upgrade your farm before I have to waste my precious resources doing it myself.

Thank you again,
[player][/player]

Written by somebody in World 12 according to siddhartha96

Trackback URI | Comments RSS